You’ve heard it before, parents who say, “This was our oops baby.” Often you will hear these words when the child is standing right there.
Talk about an “oops” moment!
I am going to say this one for all those doubters and negative ninnies out there: not one of my children is an “oops” baby. We did not make a mistake in choosing to have them. And God did not make a mistake in blessing our life with them. Every single one of our children was prayed for, requested, and wanted. They have a purpose in our family and in this world.
They are not mistakes.
He doesn’t make mistakes.
I have heard children referred to as a “mid-life crisis,” “birth control failure,” “a trap to get him to marry her,” “a honeymoon baby” and more.
If you have found yourself saying this about your own children – please stop. If you have found yourself saying this to other people about another couple and their child – please stop.
Babies aren’t accidents. Children are NOT a midlife crisis.
When you say these things you are basically saying that a child has no purpose, no reason for being here, and no importance to your family.
You are saying out loud that YOUR Child has NO Value to YOU.
Whether you mean it that way or not that is exactly what your kid is going to hear. And those types of words in the long run will defeat the purposes God has placed in their lives and hearts. Those words will distance your child from YOU and from God.
YOU will defeat the purposes of God by lacking restraint with your tongue.
YOU will defeat the purposes of God by YOUR failure to accept what God gives with gratitude.
I strongly believe to insinuate that a child is a mistake even in jest is a sin.
It does not reflect the heart of God nor please God when we say that our children are accidents. It does not honor God to mock His gifts. No matter what society tells us – children are gifts.
“…children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward…” (Psalm 127:3)
Ingratitude is a sin against God. The inability to recognize God’s gifts as such is ingratitude.
It is never too late to embrace these gifts and to change your way of speaking and thinking – start with prayer.
As I pray over my children at night I speak out loud in their presence these words:
Thank you God for ______________. Thank you for placing _________ in our lives, in our family at this time. I pray that we would be willing and able to recognize the significant purpose you have given them at this time and in this place. I ask that you would help us to be strong and wise so that we as parents do not keep this little one from being all that you have created them to be. I ask that you would help __________ to be respectful, compassionate and loving towards each of her/his siblings. That you would help them to be obedient to us as their parents and honoring of our place in their lives. I pray that as a family we would be bound to each other and to You in seeking Your will for our family and lives. Thank you for giving us one another. Help us to not take this gift of our family for granted. In Jesus Name, Amen.
Nothing is worse then a parent who through words and actions demonstrates to their child that they are unwanted, without purpose, and a huge accident.
If you have found yourself saying these types of things about your kids or to your kids - it’s time to stop.
God does not make mistakes!