When I was just a little girl you held my hand teaching me to stand and walk…always within reach to catch me, to love me, to hug me and protect me. As I grew and stepped into bigger things I always knew that you were proud of me, that you loved me and that your hands would be there to steady me if I took a misstep.
I remember calling from the payphone in high school when I was lonely, mad or sad. You’d pick me up and we’d watch movies. That was the best part about having a “stay-at-home” dad…You were THERE. Always waiting, watching and loving. You taught me how to be THERE.
I remember kneeling beside my bed as a little girl asking Jesus to love me and wanting to love him in return. I remember standing beside you in church…singing. Learning to sing. To express love to OUR Father through worship. You taught me HOW.
I remember standing in the bridal room waiting to marry my husband. And your gentle strength in asking if I was sure. Knowing that I was not your little girl anymore and that I was being asked to learn to love the future God had for me. You taught me WHEN.
I remember the pain and joy of giving birth to MY first little girl. To know that you were there waiting, watching and loving. And seeing your face the first time you got to hold her. You taught me how to BE.
I remember my grief and pain in losing friends. In having my world change before my eyes. And knowing that what was difficult for me would also be a time of change for you. You taught me how to GROW.
I remember the dying, the grieving, the bleeding hearts in the world around me. I see their pain, their frustration, their grief, and I mourn, cry and scream with them. You taught me how to SEE.
I remember your grief and pain in walking this road with your children. In seeing things you never thought you’d see…as we’ve failed, succeeded, plunged into deep pits and fought our way back out again. You’ve taught us HOW to BE THERE…WHEN God asks us to GROW and SEE the Path He has for us.
For these and so much more I honor you today….
Happy Father’s Day.
I love you.
And to Mr. Hubby:
I remember the first moment you realized you were going to be a dad, when the pink line appeared in window and the morning suddenly changed. Your face as I walked out of the bathroom was priceless, sitting on the bed in your shorts watching me expectantly…and you laughed. It wasn’t a nervous giggle, but a joy-filled wonder. That step changed everything. For us and our marriage it was the first real step of faith, a concious decision to live beyond the practical and controlled…to hand over the fear. Weeks later when the womb released an ungrown treasure and the tears shed deep God affirmed the stepping by pushing us closer together, a glory given to His name and no one else.
I remember the next positive test and a hospital appointment on my own, when the heartbeat couldn’t be found, a rushing to schedule ultrasound and to find you. As the tears and fears began to well, as my head touched stearing wheel and the world seemed to spin on it’s top…your face in the window calmed the raging. Sitting in that room for a second time. That sterile, dark space with the technician clicking keys and holding wand. The moment the truth of fatherhood held firm…a heartbeat of a tiny one still forming, still holding on…and there was laughter.
That is what I love about you as a Daddy, your laughter. When one of the kids says something out of nowhere…you laugh. When the noise is overwhelming and neither of us can see straight…you laugh. In the dark of night when wee babe wakes disturbing any moment of togetherness…you laugh. And that laughter anchors us, holds us firm and tightly, releasing the burdens and sending peace. Calming. The laughter brings a joy unspeaking. I praise God that when other families are overwhelmed and hurting they push and pull away from each other with their words or silence, but He has given us a cause to rejoice in the small things. That a man who steps out in faith in small ways is blessed in ways unimaginable.
You are a great Daddy. An amazing Friend. Deeply held and loved by an Eternal Father who sees it all, knows it all and still offered Himself. For sharing yourself in so many ways, for providing faithfully and all the laughter…
I love you,